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21 February 2006

Lame "Web-log" Observes First Anniversary on "World Wide Web" in "Cyberspace"

CYBERSPACE - A "web log" - a form of online journal popular with non-tenured faculty, collectors of vintage boy band memorabilia, and narcissists, observed its first anniversary of publishing. "Surviving a whole year in the cut-throat competitive world of blogging is a real milestone. Most people give up after 11 and half months" noted  the author of the web log (or "'blog" for short) Vemos Sububi.  The "blog" has contributed nothing of note, except one of the 200 instances of the word "fuckleberries" listed on a recent google search.

A linguistic inventory of Lukas

These are listed roughly in the order of frequency and date of adoption (i.e. most frequent first, most recently adopted last).

Dada - as far as I am aware, he not cognizant of the art movement in post World War I Europe.

Mama - This applies to his mama of course. But until recently "mama" could signify everything from "I want a bottle of organic  whole  milk, and none of that shitty soy based formula" to "I'm tired and I want some of those crackers shaped like Sesame Street characters "

Nana - He doesn't know what to call his Grandmothers, but he loves bananas. Will eat 2 or 3 a day if you let him. Also points at Bert and Big Bird and calls them "nana."

No - This may have been his first real word, after Dada and Mama. He does know how to tell you what he doesn't want, I will give him that.

NO! - He believes this to be the cat's name, and not without justification. He will point at her, no matter what she is doing, and shout NO!  He also thinks that is what you are supposed to say when you hit the glowing blue power button on the satellite DVR unit over and over.

Thank you - Every time he took possession of a forbidden or unsafe article (table knife, pens, my watch, small chokable items) I made a pretense of asking for its return and saying "thank you" after I grabbed it out of his hand. Now he says thank you anytime you hand him something, or give him something to eat. Were it not for the fact that he likes to hit his mother and father on occasion, he would be the most polite one year old in the world.

Uh-oh! - this is what we say after we deliberately throw something across the room.

Puppy - He does not have a dog, but will look at pictures of them for hours. Goes nuts when a real dog comes around or is seen on television, even the three legged one in "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou." Will also point and say "wow-wow," which he learned from the book Clifford's Animal Sounds.

Baby - Is very into babies; likes to point at kids older than he (i.e. two year olds) and say "baby!" Not sure if this is out of solidarity, identification, or pure objectification.

Kitty - Can identify all kinds of cats as "kitty," even tigers in the zoo. His own cat, however, is still designated as "NO!"

Ni! - He will point at the Knight of Ni action figure in his room and say "Ni!" in an attempt to beat the Knight at his own game.  He will learn about herrings and shrubberies when he is older.

Elmo - Few things in life are inevitable, like Elmo.

Nose - His first named body part (but not his favorite overall).

Eye - He cannot say "I" though. Can you remember a time before you could say "I"? What if there were no such word as "I"?

Mouth - Pointing to pie hole, pronounced "mow."

Teeth - pronounced "tee" and with accompanying gesture toward his little toothbrush and toothpaste. Likes the idea of brushing his teeth, anyway.

08 February 2006

Tempus Fuckit

If there are any of you left playing at home, it's been over a month and a half. It's busy but there's been precious little to report. I have made good on my threat to go Microsoft free. Neo Office X, and Keynote are the ticket so far. It's been ridiculously busy at work, at home, and abroad. Recently, the appearance of the Stones at Super Bore XL and a recent concert I attended by Willie Nelson occasioned this exchange:

On Sun, February 5, 2006 5:23 pm, MMD said: > ... Id.  Holy shit...old, glammed out and skipping like a little girl > I still wanted to make out with him behind the old gym.  Fuck Dick > Clark.  Mick is an Iggy who takes high tea (that's important, of > course). > > and the music...you know...whatever...it rocks and all that shit. > > M

ME:
One unjustifiable expenditure i shan't regret is the outrageous amount spent to see the Stones at the Stapler Center in 2002. By the time they were playing a mini-set from Exile on Main St. on vintage instruments, with no extra musicians and no light show, I was more than compensated. Mick is better than well-preserved. Almost life-like, as they say. I grew suspicious that his mop top showed no signs of perspiration, and didn't move much, despite his manic prancing for 2 hours. . . but hey. . . we should all look so good at 60+. Willie Nelson, who played Bridges Auditorium (an old art deco hall that holds about 2000) on Friday is in some ways even more remarkable for his age. He has not been surgically altered, as far as can be told from row J seat 1. He sports a modest paunch, and his arm wattle hangs a bit lower than Mick's, but Mick is not capable of pulling off a guitar solo on "Stardust" that verges on Django-esque -- lyrical and ferocious at the same time. After nearly 6 years with nary a relapse, I may resume smoking pot, and that right soon.

DVDs I need to watch and return already

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