Merry Lizard's Birthday, my fellow asshats

Holiday Advertisers Seek Coveted Dicktard Demographic

NEW YORK—A series of brightly colored and inoffensive ad campaigns will also target the key fuckbrain and asshat market segments.

[note: if anyone cares about the giant hole of no-posts - and I'm not sure that I do - an explanation later]

Watching some Sesame Street based Christmas Carol-thing on TV with Lukas, who is now 2, Ernie and Bert were exchanging gifts. Lukas says "birthday presents." He knows all about b-days, after having four separate birthday parties, with cakes and gifts, on a recent visit to the northwest.
I explained that these were not birthday presents, but in fact "Christmas presents."
" . . . "
"You know, Christmas."
"It's Lizard's birthday."
"Lizard" refers to the Gorn, in "Arena"  -- surely one of the top five Star Trek episodes of all time. He loves the Gorn, and Spock, but mostly the Gorn. 

	His favorite part is when Kirk boxes the Gorn's ears in a desperate attempt to get free of his grip.
	Upon which, he will grab his own ears, shouting "Oh no my ears!" And "that's not nice lizard!"

So Lukas' explanation of the phenomenon known as Christmas makes about as much sense as any other.  Maybe we should continue the war on Christmas by shooting it with a homemade canon, and then spare its life at the last moment, and make the Metrones proud.